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Just about everyone I know now I met less than two years ago. Some of these people have become very important to me. One has been most influential and a constant companion. Together they fill up my landscape, give me reasons to go here and there, fix pictures in my mind of places on the other side of the valley, up the hill, in another town, at the top of a village. Through them I can visualize the setting of many homes, interesting, busy places; a garage workshop where Jean-Michel is fixing his motorbike while his son is absorbed in his shoot-em-up video game in the sitting room; a small, modern flat cunningly furnished by Chrystelle to make space for Julien’s huge TV screen and somewhere to eat; Matt and Niki’s old village house with its garage/barn beneath and the top floor still awaiting development as a separate flat; three floors of a house in this village, renovated almost entirely in reclaimed wood, where Alain sculpts heads for the marionettes he creates; a tiny apartment where carved wood and hand-done plaster panels are proof of Vincent’s artistic skill and whose divining rods lie on the bed; a chalet built of round logs, home to Thierry’s big family and the scene of several jovial parties and enormous meals. Some of my friends I associate with one particular place, the ski shop, where I am proud to say I am now one of the gang and can turn up on my own if I wish and be offered a cup of coffee behind the counter and some jokey conversation. Thierry, Des, Cyril, Terry, Waza, Juli, Perry, Tom, Enrique, le Breton…. did you spot me? I recall the photo of everyone gathered there just after my accident, sharing apéritif drinks set out on an upturned surf board. I may have seriously injured my leg in that race but it gained me no little notoriety!
These people fill up my time too - as much as I want - and they have certainly given me theirs. I have acquired many things thanks to their friendly help – plumbing and electrical work, a wood burning stove, technical wizardry enhancing my computer, a gift of specialized ski bindings, household things, building work in the flat and countless books to read. In return I have helped a friend to write his website text in French and English, driven a lady up to her new home in Boulogne, made curtains, taken Alain to collect a new car in Switzerland and emptied my wallet to find Sterling currency for Thierry’s daughter to use on her trip to London. Such small things have sufficed. Mum always used to say that if you want to have a friend you must be one. Quite so. Of course, as she knew, there is more to it than an exchange of favours. A friend is someone to spend time with, to give thought to, to share the enjoyment of activities with. Biking, skiing, walking, sewing, watching wildlife - including standing out in the road talking at great length about these things – all these are very productive in friendship terms. In this way, I become part of their landscape too. It still amazes me just how quickly this has happened. Is it me? Whatever the reason I notice that there is an openness in the people I meet, a willingness to admit me to their circle which is not only refreshing but presents a challenge too because in many cases those people I rapidly feel at ease with I know relatively few facts about. All those details are, maybe, to be discovered one day – or maybe not: Folk are not ‘curieux’ and do not pry, preferring to let things take their course. This is true especially of my neighbours in the village. I mentioned already the formalized steps to becoming acquainted. Week by week I have become more friendly with a lady who is always out of doors it seems: she cannot spend her day in the house she tells me and goes on to confide that she does her household chores ‘really quickly’, first thing in the morning! Over the course of our chats I have learned a number of things which help to build the scope of the conversation each time we meet. This extends to her husband now who waves in a cheerful fashion when I pass. I recently attended a medical, compulsory for all workers, in another valley. Within the first two minutes the nurse had discovered that I lived next door to her friend’s mother, the famous Titine and that she knew of me too.
You see? Friends everywhere I look! Some of these are, like me, newcomers to the valley. They may be here, working for the season, from December to May, like my friends in the shop, and then leaving to work on the coast all summer, only returning in time for next winter. Others are from longstanding local families, whose fathers and grandfathers developed this area and whose names are found on the council committees. These are friends who grew up in the mountains, who have a huge knowledge of the terrain, based upon childhood years of exploring and messing about with equipment, and who have mastered all the variants of skiing and yet are always willing to share their knowledge with someone who shows an interest. I feel at home in either group, of any age. So many good contacts have grown and developed during these two years: it surprises me still. A change of country, a change of circumstances and a change of career offered me a chance to re-think. I feel that there is no need to ‘explain’ myself. I arrive here with no ‘past’ since in the best sense no-one cares what that was. These details emerge over the course of time, if important. Would it have improved my standing here I wonder if I had presented myself in terms of a former job? Headline: Ex - teacher seeks new life! What counts is how I seem to others now, how I act - my positive attitude and evident enjoyment of my environment - this is what people respond to and appear to like. Quite a lot in fact. ….
We are, all of us, adjusting to big changes, made recently, to where and how we live and we will each discover that new friendships – and some marvelous old ones which you have renewed! – are there for the asking and very often reveal new sides to ourselves, new skills, new layers of awareness. Serendipity rules and brings forth unexpected fortune in our new lives, whether this is found next door, at the bottom of the lane, in the next village or in a brand new town. Our new situations are welcoming of us and the landscape will be changed by our presence, just as it is affected by one dear person’s absence. My friend and Zen thinker reminds me that it’s the same when you walk in the mountains – the insects, flowers and rocks that you pass are glad that you are there, since you too are a part of the land as much as they.
Believe it.
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copyright Julia Austen 2015